This site has only been up for a little over three months, but I feel that in that time I have come up with some pretty good stuff, some of which I think history will judge to be classic. To help history out (history has a lot on its plate nowadays, so, really, it's the least that I can do), I'm going to, when the mood strikes or I remember that I actually started this new section of my website, be posting links to some of the aforementioned pretty good stuff, along with my own analysis thereof. Here goes:

30 July 2005: My Book Makes a Great Gift

This post starts out with some cursing in the first sentence, which is always a fabulous way to start any piece of writing. Seriously, the next time that you have to write a resume or an affidavit or a sermon, try to work a fuck in there somewhere.Parishioners will fall out of their pews, yes, but they will be falling out because of pure transgressive joy.

Then I list the people for whom you could buy a copy of my book, and I'm pretty proud of the fact that I manage to insult just about every type of American that there is to insult. I'll admit that I'm a laugh whore, and I won't hesitate to go wherever I need to go to in order to get a laugh. Here's an example from about a month ago. We're playing poker at my big bro's and we have about $400 in buy-ins. Somebody jokingly asks if I have a safe place for the money, and I respond by saying, "Are you kidding? As soon as I see more than five Mexicans in a room, I hide my wallet." Everybody was laughing because everybody in the room, except for K.G., was of Mexican extraction, yours truly included. I wonder, now, if K.G. was a little nervous surrounded by so many darkies.