16 June 2005, Day Four:

It Wasn’t Good: In fact, it was bad, man, it was bad. I took a
series of ass-kickings the whole night. On one hand a guy two players
to my left took it to $4, pre-flop, was raised to $7, and I called it
with Q-Q. The flop came with an ace and the bettor paired his ace, and so
he pretty much had me beat. Even if he hadn't hit his ace I was dust
because the guy who raised the bettor was holding K-K. One of my best
starter hands of the night, and I was cracked before I even saw a flop.

A few hands later, I drew the suited marriage (K-Q of the same suit),
bet it to $4, was called by the guy who had caught his ace, but nobody
else stayed in. The flop missed me, all low cards, but, since I didn’t
think he was holding a pocket pair and I was holding one of the very
best non-paired starter hands, I bet it and he, without even a moment’s
hesitation, called. Fourth was junk, so we both checked. Fifth also
missed me, I checked and so did he. I turn over the marriage, and he
turns over suited big slick (A-K of the same suit). Again, I was pretty
much dead because only a queen or cards that worked to my flush could
have helped me. The flop had been a rainbow, so we were both off of our
flush draws right away. Still, I was screwed. Oh yeah, here’s some
poker knowledge: What do you call K-Q, the marriage, when it doesn’t
pay off? The Divorce.

The same guy later beat my off-suit Kojak (K-J) with his pocket deuces
when the board didn’t help either of us. Unbelievable. Not my night at
all. I played for 10+ hours. I was down $40, came back up to around
+$40, back close to even, but made a little bit of a run at the end. I
won, though, so I don’t have too much to complain about.

A Bit of Sunshine, Metaphorically Speaking: There was one nice
moment in the whole evening. When I was making a bit of a run, the guy
who had been sitting to my left for a few hours said he liked how I had
played. Guy Who Said He Liked How I Played said something about how I
had been smart and patient by getting out of some hands, but then
attacking when I could. The truth was, though, that at that point I was
either getting premium hands or I was getting rags. It doesn’t take
much skill to play high pocket pairs or 7-2 off-suit. It’s when you’ve
got middle-to-low pairs or mediocre singles that you have to play at a
pretty high level. Still, a complement is a complement, and I take them
when I can get them, so, Guy Who Said He Liked How I Played, thanks for
the props.

Wandering Skanks of Las Vegas: It was pretty late in the evening
when the player two positions to my left made a comment about all of
the groups of young ladies walking around in tiny little tops,
something about why would they be in tiny tops and why would they be
walking around in groups. Seriously, all these young ladies seem to do
is walk around, and they don’t ever stop walking around to play any of
the games. As a joke, I called them the Wandering Skanks of Las Vegas,
which got a decent laugh, but I felt like a jerk immediately afterward.
There was no way for me to know if, in fact, they were skanks, and,
furthermore, if they were skanks, if they were skanks of the
wandering sort, other than to go up and ask them and then get my
inquisitive ass kicked out of the casino. No, I’m kidding. See? I
really can’t help but try to be funny. That was why I made my Wandering
Skanks of Las Vegas mini-joke. I know that they’re not skanks. They
were doing what young people do whenever they get together: dress up
for each other and then go out to see and be seen. And, really, plenty
of people come to Las Vegas without the intention of gambling, and
after you shop for a day, there isn’t anything to do. You get bored,
and what do bored people do? They also walk around. So, Wandering
Skanks of Las Vegas, I apologize. I went for the cheap laugh because I
need love.

Day Four Total: In eleven hours and three minutes, I win
thirty-two hands for a total of twenty-eight dollars. This was the most
hands that I won on any single day, but also my lowest in terms of
profit. What this means: I played way too many hands. I was probably
feeling too happy because of my two previous days at the poker tables.